This was a piece written for a Gladstone Pottery event. Please read in a Six Towns accent...
Major Wedgwood were a tall chap, fair haired, with a
moustache you could hang clothes on.
“The Viking”, they called him, and I could see why, that day in factory
when I first saw him. He’d got us lined up
in front of the new kiln and he gave us the big speech about being the finest
company in the world, in the finest city in the world, because it had finest
people in the world. Pretty poor stuff
you’d think, but we drank it up like it was Nestle’s Milk. This was 1916 and I was only 14, but I was a
big lad for my age and they’d set me on to shift barrows at Etruria.
The Major had come back from the War for a board meeting or
some such, and then he’d asked to speak to the able-bodied men in the factory
about joining his regiment. They were
the North Staffordshires, but he said we’d be joining a pals battalion, where
we’d be with our best mates. The
Potters, they called themselves. Jimmy
Leather, an older lad who lived by us in Chatham Street, said we should enlist because it was our duty
and anyway it paid a sight more than wheeling clay.
Well, you can imaging the kerfuffle when I got home and said
that me and Jimmy Leather were joining up.
Mom was having none of it, and said she’d write to Mr Wedgwood and tell
him I was under-age, so I let on to give up on the idea. After a bit of argument, you understand, or
she’d have copped on I was up to something.
Well, me and Jimmy had a word with the charge-hand next
morning and he said we could go down to the recruiting room as had been set up
in the offices. I’d never been in there
before and it was a bit frightening, all polish-smelling and clattery, what
with typewriters and comptometer machines rattling and people walking about
with bits of paper. We’s shown into a
room with a dozen or so other blokes stood around, and when it’s my turn I find
myself talking to this sergeant who gives me a look and asks me how old I am.
“Seventeen,” I says.
He gives me another look, up and down, sort of slow, and he
sees I’m probably taller than him – he were only a little chap – and he nods
and asks me to sign a paper. He claps
his hands once and rubs them together and says, “Alright, duck, you belong to
the Prince of Wales now. Go through that
door and they’ll have a good look at you.”
That were it. I was a soldier.
Course, it didn’t turn out quite how we’d expected. There were a fair few Etruria lads, but I got
to know a chap called George who worked with his dad in a factory making tiles
for the London Tube. We all got on and
were good pals through training. Jimmy
and me were set up as stretcher bearers, but we still saw a bit of old George,
who was going to be a rifleman.
So that was how we found ourselves in France, near a place
called La Boiselle, not that I could ever say it proper. It wasn’t as bad as you might think; it was
warm anyway –bloody hot some days, and that’s swearing. But you’d go to the rear every few days, away
from the whizz-bangs, and you could have some decent scoff and a shower and
they’d take your battle dress away and get rid of most of your visitors.
And laugh? Seemed
like we never stopped. Jimmy was a dab
hand with the trumpet – in fact he was one of our bandsmen – and he’d play
anything you wanted, and if we were having a bit of a sing he’d be there with
the harmony, dead on. Then George would
make some crack about us being too close to Ivor Novello for his comfort and
we’d all break up laughing again. Four
weeks and I never so much as saw a German, though we could hear them sometimes
in their trenches, calling out, singing and laughing as well. Made me feel funny that did, to hear them
carrying on like they was the same as us.
To be continued...
4 comments:
In complete ignorance of the pronunciation of a Six Towns accent I was forced to read in an Austrian tongue, which may have spoilt some of the intended effects, but it's still been a promising read so far. Although I have one complaint, when will we get to read the rest the story? Yeah, I know you've got a lot of other things to do and for the time being you're off the hook, as I'll be going to London for a few days next week to be entertained by another Shaw, but I it would be a real treat if after my return the next part would be available to distract me from work and general Christmas madness.
Michaela
In complete ignorance of the pronunciation of a Six Towns accent I was forced to read in an Austrian tongue, which may have spoiled some of the intended effects, but it's still been a promising read so far. Although I have one complaint, when will we get to read the rest the story? Yeah, I know you've got lots of other things to do and for the time being you're off the hook, as I'll be going to London for a few days next week to be entertained by another Shaw, but I it would be a real treat if after my return the next part would be available to distract me from work and general Christmas madness.
Michaela
No need for authenticity - just make it indecipherable and you'll be close enough!
Part Two is now up...
That's easy! Our neighbours up north can reconfirm that we aren't capable of intelligible speech.
I like it when men do my bidding!
Many thanks for posting part 2, at my age memory is short, not that it would be an ordeal to start at the beginning again, I always enjoy your blogs, even the ones that aren't relevant for me.
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